To PhD or Not to PhD

In recent months, I’ve really started to miss the world of academia and have been longing to be a student again. While I have a full-time job at an organization that I love and feel passionately about – I have to admit that I’m not as passionate about what I’m actually doing. I’ve been looking for jobs in different fields but have had very little success. I’m growing more and more frustrated with my current career status and I can't help but I think about where I want to be. Granted, I always have a different scenario on what I’d like to be doing – but the one thing that has always been consistent is that I envision myself getting a PhD.

Throughout my Master’s program (2007-2009) I saw myself continuing with my research and going straight to a doctorate program. I started studying for the GRE and considering which program/school I would like to attend and how much funding I’d need. During the last semester of graduate school while I was finishing my thesis, I started a full-time job, which is where I still currently work. As time went on the idea of continuing for my PhD fell to the wayside. Inevitably, I like making money and having a regular schedule where I’m not up until 3am staring at a book or computer screen; I enjoy having a life and going out with my friends; I like not being a stress-ball and an insane overachiever; I enjoy reading books that aren’t required reading. So after defending my thesis, I was so exhausted that I didn’t even want to think about spending another year (let alone 5 or more years) in graduate school working on a dissertation.

While most of the above claims are still true, I’m now wondering if it might be the right time to enter the world of academia again. But I can’t seem to decide - and I don’t know if it’s because I don’t really know if it will be worth it in the end or if it’s because I can’t make up my mind. I know that getting a PhD will prove my competence in conducting research and analyzing data. I know that I will do my best and succeed. But does this make sense? Do I need a PhD to do what I want to do? What exactly is it that I want to do? Do I want to be a professor? Sure, I can easily see myself doing that – but will I be able to find a job?

I saved this illustration a while ago and remembered it today when I decided to write this entry.  After taking into consideration the time, energy, money spent on working toward a PhD and seeing the result in what is actually achieved – does it seem worthwhile? I still don’t know – maybe I just need a vacation . . . or a new job?

To ponder: What is waiting for me in the direction I don’t take? – Jack Kerouac